Light

light
there are two forms of it
truth and deceit
but the lights get blurred a lot
when i saw you and your big white smile i saw the good kind of light that is truthful
or at least i thought
i walked out of my house and i see you across the street waiting for me
with your hand on the button that controls your behavior and halts the traffic the makes up your actions and intentions
and you smile
it’s like a cross walk and im waiting for that light to say walk or have a picture of a man walking or a green light
a good sign
then i saw the good light to walk forward
the green one
the sign
the gesture
and i walked
i heard that horn and i jumped back
i almost got hit by a car
because i didn’t look at the light when it was changing
because i didn’t catch it
so i tried again
i waited and waited for another green light
and i almost got hit then
i didn’t learn from the first time
the third time i knew somewhat better
i knew that the green light didn’t necessarily mean it was safe to cross
i had to look to the left to see if there was a car coming
i just wanted to get across
and i thought i could by dodging the on coming traffic
so then i walked
i had got up to the middle
and a car almost hit me from my right
then they were then coming from both directions
left and right
right and left
left and right
they all came so quickly
out of fright
confusion
and pure stupidity
i kept going forward
for some unspoken reason i willingly walked into traffic just to get across
across to our deserted honeymoon avenue
and i got hit
i got hit by a car
it all came so fast
and it was all you
the light you showed
the light that caused me to get sideswiped by your traffic
to the light that brought me only pain
on a normal day traffic comes steadily and even with voids but when it’s one car after another for months
there’s obviously something wrong
and wrong with m